When did you decide to take control over your health and happiness?
The first time I realized I needed to do something was simply a walk up the stairs in my house. I was taking the laundry basket upstairs. When I got to the top of the stairs I couldn't breathe and I was sweating. I had to sit for 5 minutes just to calm my heart rate down. I thought I was having a heart attack.
I went to the doctor who ensured it wasn't a heart attack, it was my weight. He then suggested weight loss surgery because I had 100 lbs to lose. Hearing him say surgery saddened my soul. I told him I would do it myself. He frowned and said I hear that a lot and then I read the death notice. This pissed me off, I told him I would do it without surgery because my life was worth it. Truth: I didn't believe I was worth it but I went on faith that if I could have that reaction then something was behind it. I started the process of finding my worth. Two days later I joined the gym.
How do you keep yourself motivated?
I never really needed motivation. I was out to find my worth. I decided to change my life and get back to who I knew I was and that was it, decision made now as I always say "Let's Get It." The more I return to myself the more I evolve without trying. I don't have the weight to hold me back now.
I became a spin instructor on February 6, 2014, a year and a month from when my Journey began (I Started Jan 6, 2013). I ran my first 5K on May 24, 2014 and it was hard but I made it. When the run was over, the only thing I could think of is going back to training to make the next one easier. I'm in a different frame of mind. Once the mind changes, then the body changes, and your life goals change as well. I thank God every day for my present state and I reflect on it so I don't go back to where I was a year ago.
In addition to a healthier body, what else have you achieved?
Peace. The hardest part of losing weight is not the physical appearance. I talk to many people trying to lose weight and I really try to drive this message. It is not the physical weight holding you down. It's the mindset and emotional baggage your trapped in. After my Doctors visit, I cried for three days and allowed myself to do so. With each tear, I faced a past moment that hurt, confined, and shackled me. I told myself with the drying of each tear, so dried the pain, hurt, and the shackles were broken once the tears evaporated. On the third day, I saw me again and felt self love for myself returning. The more my mind healed the more I wanted the outside to look like the inside. I am now back to the place where I have always loved me the most in both physical and emotional and it feels great. As my mind heals more and more changes will come. Its an ongoing process.
What makes you the happiest at this time in your healthy new life?
Everything. You will always have a dark moment but as you return to happy the darkness gets shorter and you see the sunshine return faster and faster. I am so at peace and my worry no longer weighs me down because I have the strength to not only stand but the mindset to know that once I'm up I can't fall. I have arrived and I'm not leaving me.